Illusion

 I keep here sitting all alone waiting for a sign of your return. But you're not coming. You won't come here. My fool heart keeps beating with hopeness, keep that holding on to the dream that you will come here and say that you were wrong and that you love me back. It keeps on hoping you'll do something big about it, hoping that you won't let me slip away from you. But you won't move a single finger to come to me. You won't change your schedule just to find me somewhere. Your day will be filled with your job and cats and everything that comes before me. Cuz I've always been the last thing you thought about. The last thought while you were my first. You wouldn't change anything for me while I'd change everything in me just for you. But you're not here and you won't come. And no one ever did it for me so why would you do? Why would you sacrifice anything for my cheap love? No you wouldn't. 

My broken heart keeps on feeling this damn hope. I'm killing it day by day but it's like a weed that won't stop growing. Doesn't matter how hard i try. Doesn't matter how strong I am. You are my weakness and for you i would do anything. But i won't. Because you're not here. I'm all alone. And you're not knocking my door. You're not desperate calling me on the telephone. You're not even interested if I'm ok, if I'm alive. I'd die today and you'd never find out. Because you just don't care as much as i do. And that kills me everytime I remember it.